It sucks how you can be surrounded by people and no one truly knows Just how unhappy you truly are. I feel this overwhelming amount of heartache I feel like someone close to me has literally died, but what hurts most is knowing I made the one person who made me the happiest unhappy, what do you do? What can you do?
I usually dont blog but that is what tumblrs for so here it goes; It hurts to want so much and nothing at the same time, but it hurts even more to have no control over anything when in reality you should have the control and you should have the upperhand. I’m tired of being used and I’m tired of my so called “friend” holding the knife to backstab me. Messing with the one thing I really truly love. I don’t understand how you can be with someone for so long and wake up and think its okay to hurt them, think its okay to just be “done.” I dont know really what I expect but what I do know is I miss my best friend,and I miss my boyfriend. I miss my ex “friend” who thinks its okay to keep screwing up my relationship. I really feel like I’m all alone with no where to turn. I should be able to say fuck you to both of them and move on, I should be able to confidently say “I dont want to be with you” but the truth is I love that boy more than anything in this world he’s been a part of my life since like second grade but now being 18 I dont have time to play games and I don’t have years to wait.When do you stop fighting for the person you know you’re meant to be with but they’re to scared to do anything about it, when is enough,simply enough.For once I haven’t done anything wrong and I’m the one being punished for their mistakes. I’ve held it in all that I can, and I’ve reached my breaking point. Let go and Let God is all I have left to do..</3
